Why watch puns tick me off

Fergus Nash

In the world of horological journalism, where centuries-old companies lord over a multi-billion dollar industry and push the boundaries of mechanical engineering and art simultaneously, it’s pretty much considered a crime to write a pun into your articles. If you ask me, it’s a total waste of time. Most writers would never stoop that low, not even if you held an IWC TOP GUN to their head. Anyone who defends watch puns is probably just trying to wind you up, and if not then they’re definitely just a hack. The problem is that we’ve all heard them all before from countless friends and family members who pass them around like second-hand information, and that makes them sound tachy. I wouldn’t want to say this over and over, but my disdain for watch puns does bear minute repeating.

It’s not unusual for us to put puns in our headlines, but if I found a lazy play-on-words in the middle of a Casio article then I’d be alarmed. In some ways they’re just there to buy time, but if you’re only focused on word count then you’re probably running on fumés. Those writers who are strapped for content haven’t clocked that the readers can see right through them, crystal clearly. What’s even worse is when they have the audacity to go back four seconds and make another bad joke, showing their low calibre. For some it’s an automatic response, but you wheely need to be in control of the balance. I could wonder if they had a screw loose, but that would just be my ‘pinion. You’re probably thinking that I should just build a bridge and forgive those writers who are just trying to earn their Geneva stripes, but it’s difficult to dial it back.

If you were going to make the case for enjoying watch puns, I wouldn’t sweep you aside too quickly. If you want to go diving for them, you could Piguet out with Aude best intentions in the world, but you couldn’t convince me that they’re a Bergeoning tool for good writing. Among friends, you’d be the torque of the town if you made them laugh, it’s just not AP-propriate for a Seamaster Professional setting. I like to abide by a Code 11.59 of journalistic standards, and I am Certina that others would agree puns are a writing Sinn. Han on hart, I will never make a pun in my articles for as Longines as I live.