Rollie Moly! Cousin Greg falls foul of a dodgy Rolex in Succession’s latest episode…

Zach Blass

Succession has almost zero characters with redeeming qualities. For the most part the Roy family and those in their orbit are complete assholes. Each scene may as well be set in a garden in Westeros, the veiled take on the Murdoch family revealing endless backstabbing, traded insults, and nothing that resembles conventional family love. One character, however, that is somewhat loveable is the painfully naive, impressionable, and desperate-for-approval cousin Greg.

Greg may as well be a punching bag given how he’s constantly tricked and used by his family to their own ends. He’s a pawn in their never-ending schemes. In this latest season, Greg finds himself caught between Team Logan and Team Kendall, each intimidating him to do their bidding. In this past week’s episode Greg is led to believe Kendall appreciates his loyalty, so much so that he will buy him a watch as a token of his gratitude. While in a limousine after a gala event, Greg proceeds to ask for Kendall’s blessing to pull the trigger on a “very expensive” Rolex – which appears to be a Submariner. But never trust a word these characters say.

While Kendall continually insinuates he will take care of the watch, eventually we see Greg’s gift dreams crash and burn (again). While Kendall exclaims: “Yeah, fuck it, fuck it you deserve it” when Greg asks for the “green light”, later at the afterparty when he tries to ask for Kendall’s credit card, his cousin proceeds to berate him – jesting why would Greg think he is buying him a watch, he was merely hooking him up with a connect.

Even more confounding than Kendall’s bi-polar attitude is the fact that this dealer was asking for $40,000 for this watch. Assuming it is, in fact, a Submariner, which appeared to have a black dial and bezel, that is of course a total rip-off. Black-dial Submariners should not cost over $15,000 USD, even on the secondary market, a classic example of why you “buy the seller, not the watch”. The clasp certainly confirms it was modern, the watch (or prop) utilising a Glidelock style clasp, so the scene was yet another moment where Greg was being taken for a ride.

This was confirmed when Greg actually buys the watch for himself out of peer pressure, only to later reveal in another scene that the watch does not even work! Greg jokes he is the humble custodian of a watch that will often need to go back to Switzerland for six months.

I mean Rollie moly, what a shitshow. Moral of the story, cousin Greg: run away from your asshole family! Rolex buyers around the world: buy the seller, and definitely check the watch to see if it even runs.