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It’s 5 o’clock somewhere: My ill-advised quest to pair beer with watches It’s 5 o’clock somewhere: My ill-advised quest to pair beer with watches

It’s 5 o’clock somewhere: My ill-advised quest to pair beer with watches

D.C. Hannay

They say necessity is the mother of invention. Well, this would be more a case of “idle hands are the devil’s playground”. There is absolutely nothing necessary about any of this nonsense, but a passing series of ruminations has led to this question: what watch goes best with a given beer? Additionally, what qualities do they share? Perhaps the better question would have been “why?”, but I soldiered on, driven by my Ron Burgundy-esque ardour for both exquisite timepieces and delicious examples of the brewer’s art. I love watch. Watchy watch watch. And beer. Why not celebrate the two together? It happens often enough at watch meetups, for God’s sake, so for better or worse, here’s my light-hearted attempt at beer/watch pairing.

The Beer: Fruit-infused IPA (Ballast Point – Grapefruit Sculpin IPA)beer with watches

Whenever you add non-beer ingredients to your beer, you risk stoking the ire of purists. I myself am not a fan of overly fruited brews, but dammit, this one just plain works. Ballast Point’s west coast Sculpin IPA already has a healthy dose of pungent hops, so to add the bitterest fruit of all to the mix seems counterintuitive, but their Grapefruit Sculpin is incredibly balanced, blending seamlessly with the malty notes. It’s the flavour equivalent of turning into a skid: it seems like a bad idea, but it works beautifully.

The Watch Pairing: Zodiac Super Sea Wolf “Watermelon”beer with watches

The tasting notes for this Zodiac include contrarian, nontraditional, and utterly flavourful. Zodiac took their retro-tastic tool reference, the Super Sea Wolf, and set the visual impact to “stun”. A bright green bezel/indices and watermelon pink chapter ring have no place on a serious, 200 metre dive watch, or do they? Zodiac is no stranger to colour, but they really raised the bar with this release. Like the grapefruit IPA, it shouldn’t work, but it does.

The Beer: Imperial Stout (Cigar City Brewing – Hunahpu’s Imperial Stout)beer with watches

Imperial Stouts are rather substantial, given the brief: dark, deeply flavoured, and uncompromisingly potent. And Cigar City’s Hunahpu’s Imperial Stout is one of the most formidable, clocking in at 10.2% ABV, and fully loaded with a dizzying ledger of flavours that include espresso, chocolate, cinnamon, toffee, and a touch of chilli. It’s a seriously good brew, garnering a perfect 100 rating on Beer Advocate, and will seriously mess you up if you’re not careful.

The Watch Pairing: Omega Speedmaster Dark Side Of The Moon, Vintage Blackbeer with watches

Omega really went for it when they released the 44.25mm ceramic Dark Side Of The Moon series, with its technical prowess on full display and some daunting dimensions. This blacked-out beast requires some Alpha confidence to pull off, along with real watchmaking chops. And just like an Imperial Stout, the tasting notes include dark, imposing, and delicious. The crowning touch? The deep tan of the Vintage Black version’s dial/bezel markings, invoking the rich, creamy head atop a flawlessly poured stout.

The Beer: Pilsner (SingleCut Beersmiths – Plain Top Pilsner)beer with watches

Pilsners are a timeless classic among the world’s different brewing styles, and surprisingly difficult to pull off. They require a delicate balance of dry and subtly sweet notes, achieved through precise timing, perfect ratios, and the right ingredients, but the reward is a beautifully golden sip that whispers rather than shouts. New York’s SingleCut Beersmiths, known for their big, bold IPAs, have accomplished this with their Plain Top Pilsner, which holds its own with the best of Europe.

The Watch Pairing: Vacheron Constantin 222

Just like a flawless pilsner, Vacheron Constantin’s historic reissue of their iconic 222 (a serious contender for the watch of 2022) is all elegant, golden perfection. The flow of the integrated bracelet links recalls the warm light of a moody nightspot hitting the glass mid-pour, with a golden glow that comes from within. What else can be said about the 222 that hasn’t been said before? Peerless craftsmanship, exquisitely tasteful details, and muted gold as far as the eye can see add up to utter deliciousness. Sadly, they’re as rare as a pilsner brewed without the flaws that betray a lack of finesse.

The Beer: New England/Hazy IPA (The Alchemist – Focal Banger)

The brewers of Vermont’s The Alchemist are hippie wizards. Known far and wide for their trailblazing Heady Topper Imperial IPA, they were pioneers in the style known as “New England India Pale Ale”, which begat a hazy, hoppy revolution that dominates the craft-brewing market today. Such was the demand, fans drove across state lines on those days of the week that the brewery released their latest batch of the precious liquid. Focal Banger is their highly rated 7% ABV New England IPA, a commanding masterpiece of bitter, malty, and tropical goodness, conjured by those alchemical magicians of flavour.

The Watch Pairing: Zenith Pilot Type 20 Chronograph Adventure

Evoking the verdant tones of Vermont’s Green Mountains, the Zenith Pilot Type 20 Chronograph Adventure expounds on the traditional pilot’s watch, presenting tasting notes of steampunk, science major, and pure whimsy. Its 45mm bronze case looks the part, complete with retro font, cathedral hands, dual subdials, and oversized crown. It wouldn’t look out of place if there were a tiny steam pipe jutting off to one side, and Bilbo Baggins could confidently rock this green-dialled piece on a carefree trek from The Shire to Rivendell.

The Beer: Porter (Fuller’s – London Porter)

A classic example of a classic style, it doesn’t get much more British than Fuller’s London Porter. Fuller’s has a long tradition of brewing in the UK, with many iconic brews in their portfolio, and London Porter is one of their best. It’s smooth and creamy, with notes of coffee and chocolate resulting from the roasted malt. Fuller’s recipe is rich, comforting, and deeply satisfying, and the perfect complement to hearty pub fare and good conversation.

The Watch Pairing: Bremont S302 Supermarine GMT

Speaking of all things Britannia, Bremont’s doing big things in bringing traditional watchmaking back to the UK, and their catalogue is always chock-full of tasteful, refined models that abstain from the loud and boisterous, but still manage a dashing touch of British flair. The S302 Supermarine GMT diver sports plenty of classic cues, without being mired in the past. The creamy lume doesn’t sink into fauxtina territory, but plays perfectly with the matte black of the dial and bezel. The subtle pops of red and Creamsicle orange on the seconds and GMT hands offer a restrained accent, as do the regimental stripes of the fabric strap. It’s an ideal travel watch, perfect for a globetrotting holiday.

The Beer: Hard Seltzer

No, thank you.

The Watch Pairing: Fitness tracker

Admit it, there’s an unused Fitbit in your drawer, too.