NOTE: We understand that you’ve found a new watch to add to your collection (congratulations!). But rationalising this fact – coupled with the fact that it’ll cost a bucketload of cash – may not always sit well with the less horologically minded. That’s where we come in … Use The Enabler’s advanced levels of sophistry to validate your latest acquisition.
Sadly, it’s time for The Enabler to bow out. Over the last few weeks I’ve furnished you with a stack of irrefutable reasons to justify blowing your pay-packet on yet another watch. To testify on your horological behalf we’ve called to the stand everyone from Kanye West to Mahatma Gandhi. And we’ve discussed a succession of tried-and-tested manoeuvres — The Heirloom Defence, The Milestone Celebration, The Cost Per Wear Argument, not to mention the “At Least It’s Not Coke & Hookers” Line Of Attack. Hopefully, your watch collection will already be considerably richer as a result.
But I’ve saved one of the most convincing arguments until last, namely the fact that buying the right watch can prove to be a genuine investment.
“You’ve just bought a watch that costs the same as a small car!?!” yells your red-faced wife as she eyes your credit card bill, with her face contorted like a Chernobyl fireman’s head. (NB: This is not the right moment to correct your beloved by pointing out that, in fact, your purchase is more aligned to that of a mid-range saloon.)
Instead, run with her car analogy and explain how infinitely more far-sighted and responsible your decision to buy a new watch actually is.
After all, a new car can lose more than 10 per cent of its value during the first month. Over the first year, its value will drop by more than 20 per cent according to carfax.com, before plummeting another 10 per cent annually for the next four.
Clearly then, a watch is a far smarter buy than a car. You also happily use it after a long, well-oiled lunch for one thing. Plus, if you choose shrewdly, then it’s akin to purchasing stock in a blue-chip company.
It’s hardly breaking news to reveal the vintage watch market continues to enjoy aggressive growth. Admittedly, for a watertight return you should stick to the usual suspects: Messrs Rolex, Patek Philippe and Audemars Piguet. Beyond those, if you’re really buying just for resale value, it’s probably wise to zero in on brands’ enduring classics. Think the Omega Speedmaster, Panerai Luminor Marina, TAG Heuer Carrera et al.
It must be added that this is an incredibly po-faced way to go about building a watch collection and not to be strictly encouraged. Watches, of course, are designed to be enjoyed on the wrist, not stashed in a safe with the seals still on.
Nevertheless, for the moment, your goal is not to supplement your super fund. It’s merely to calm your missus with a spurious argument to stop her hurling crockery at your head.
So quickly dazzle her with some of the big headlines from watch auctions: the Patek Philippe Grandmaster Chime Ref. 6300A-010 that fetched $US31.19 million, Paul Newman’s Rolex Daytona that wangled $US17.75 million etc.
The crucial distinction to make here is that you haven’t blown your mortgage repayments on some half-baked whim just to impress the boys in the office. What you’ve actually done is to take painstaking steps to safeguard the financial future of your family. In short, you are an honourable man of impeachable character and, better still, you’ve got a new watch.